yumn_yumi: (Default)
[personal profile] yumn_yumi

 Title: What If I Gone
Pairing/group : Yama
Length : oneshot
Rating : PG
Genre : fluff, romance, angst  
Warnings : Death character. (I’m sorry about that) ; (Beta-self/unbeta-ed) English not my mother language. I’m really really sorry for (a lot of) the grammar mistake. I’m sorry for bad giving rating, genre and plot.
Summary : one day, Ohno asking ‘what if’ to Sho. But the real is different...

Enjoy the story... ^ - ^/ <3 <3


Is rare for Arashi members to have their day off, especially for Showho always have a very tight schedule. Once he got his day off, he ask Ohno to date. Because it’s already six month after their last date. And finally, that day, Sho and Ohno have their date. At first, they just walk around the city, shopping at some stores, go to a giant aqurium because Ohno force him to see stingrays and get some lunch at the expensive restaurant because Sho insist to take his boyfriend there.

And the end, after their date walking around city, they finally decide to go to a beach. They walking around the beach. Both of them waiting for sunset while sitting next to each other on bench.

Ohno sit beside Sho and lay his head on Sho’s shoulder.

“hmmm...” he hummed softly as he close his eyes.

“What is it, Satoshi?” Sho fingering his hair.

“No. Nothing. It’s just... I love your sloping shoulder after all.”

“Why? It doesn’t look good for me, you know...” Sho tilted his head to Ohno’s, so they head touch each other.

“Because I’m shorter than you.”

“So?” Sho sounds confused now.

Ohno take a deep breath and look at Sho with full of his attention.

“So... if you doesn’t have a sloping shoulder like this, it’s difficult for me to lay my head on yours. Your shoulder make it easy for me to lay my head on yours shoulder like this” Ohno lay his head again on Sho’s shoulder and close his eyes, smell Sho’s scent next to him while the other just chuckled at him.

The sun come down minute by minute. The light became weakened. Orange tinge began to appear in the darkening sky. The nature so beautiful and so peaceful.

“Nee... Sho-chan” Ohno call him softly.

“Um... what is it, Satoshi?”

“What if... someday... I suddenly dissapear from this world? From you?”

Sho jumped from bench. Ohno almost fell before he managed to hold his own balance.

“What are you thinking, Satoshi?! You are not plan to going anywhere don’t you? Right? You’re not died so soon, don’t you? You are not going anywhere!” Sho half shouting in panic to Ohno. Ohno just smile. He can hear Sho’s voice cracked, disbelieve, afraid, shocked. He can see his lover give him a scary face... No, maybe afraid.

“I just say, what if. If... Sho-chan. What you’ll do when I gone and-”

“NO! Don’t you say something like that! I don’t wanna hear that again, Ohno! Never ever you say something bad like that!” and now he fully screaming and shouting at Ohno with his hands closing his ears, like he didn’t want to hear that anymore. But the other just smile at him. Actually, he afraid of angry Sho.

A second later, after Sho see Ohno’s face clearly, he understand the sight of that eyes. He close his eyes and take a deep breath. And face Ohno again.

“I’m sorry. I don’t meant to...”

“It’s okay, Sho-chan. It’s my fault too. You are right. I’m asking something bad in our beautiful day. I shouldn’t ask that. I’m sorry...”

Sho take Ohno to stand and take him into his embrace. Hug him tightly like he doesn’t want Ohno go away from him. Like he want Ohno to always stay with him.

As Ohno do the same thing. He burried his face on Sho’s chest, hug him back tightly as he can. He want to always feel this warmth of Sho, this smell, this scent from his lover. That make him feel save.

“Don’t you ever ask something like that again. Okay, Satoshi?” Sho hummed that and kiss him on Ohno crown.

Ohno nodded in silent.

“Never... ever... saying something bad like you’ll gone from my side. I’ll never leave you...” Sho said again as he kiss Ohno’s crown head.

Ohno nodded again.

I promise, Sho-chan... I promise.




It’s already a year after the funeral. Sho died when he and News Zero crew take a shoot for outdoor activity. That time, the bomb from no where exploded and he became one of the victim’s death.

And Ohno forget how he could attend Sho’s funeral—which he keep silent with a blank sight until the rest of Arashi members think he is not Ohno Satoshi anymore. He couldn’t remember how he can still alive without his lover, his boyfriend, his half-live, his breath until now. He never count how many time he came to Sho’s grave with a bouquet of flower in his hand and forced himself to keep smile while he walk to grave and going back to work.

He always try to do that when he came out from car and walk to Sho’s grave. He said it is the best thing he could do for Sho, to always give Sho smile in rest of his life.

“Hello, Sho...” Ohno sit next to Sho’s grave as he put the bouquet flowers on the grave. He put his palm together and start to pray.

“Ohno-san. I’ll wait in car, okay?” his manager say after send a pray to Sho. Ohno just nodded.

After his manager gone and a long silence, Ohno take a deep breath.

“It’s been a long time Sho-chan”

“Do you still remember our date when we walk around the city? When we walk on long beach after that time?”

“When I said I love your sloping shoulder? I really miss your shoulder Sho-chan...” Ohno said even he know Sho will never answer him again. His single tears touch the ground.

 “And... do you remember when I ask you something bad like ‘What if I dissapear from this world’ and you are so so angry to me” Ohno chuckled at himself.

“You know, I’m really scared when you shouting with angry face like that time...”

“But you said sorry and hug me so tight. until I can’t breath. And I really love that moment” Ohno’s voice trill.

“But...” his voice suddenly cracked.

“... that time I... I never think ‘what if you go before me’. I never... think about that...” the tears suddenly make a fast flow through his cheek and he begin sobbing. He try so hard to not crying, but failed.

“I... I never think you will go away from me... I never think, ‘what should I do without you...’” he swept his tear with his back of hand.

“I tried so hard to hide my sadness. I tried so hard to keep singing on stage. I tried so hard to keep smile even in front of the others. I tried so hard to do everything even for breathing. I tried so hard, Sho-chan...” he already swept his tears with his hands, but the tears still running down.

“I... I tried so hard to not forget all about you. But... but I... almost forget your scent, your smell, your warmth when you hug me, your nice sloping shoulder when I lay my head on that. I... I don’t want to forget that, Sho-chan... never... I-I...”

He sobbing so hard. He don’t know when he started and when he can stop. Even he don’t know if he can stop. What he believe is he can’t stop to keep crying.

“Sho-chan...” he call that name softly after he was able to calm calm down himself.

“I’m sorry for talking something bad again. I’m sorry Sho-chan. I already promise you that we never talk about bad things again. I’m sorry...” once again, he swept tears on his cheek.

“Oh... you know. We’ll launching our new album. This time, I tried my best to make a song for you. Nino, Aiba and Jun help me. They said that’s a beautiful song. I hope you hear that from there” Ohno stroke Sho’s gravestone gently with smiling.

“Sho-chan... I have to go now. I’m sorry. I’ll visit you again. What flower do you want me to bring for you? Just tell me, nee...” Ohno stand up from his seat and smiling.


And he leave the grave with a smile and trail of tears, again...


So? I'm sorry if there are so many wrong words or grammar mistake, nee... m_ _m
Please give me your comment about this fic so I know what do you think abou this. ^ - ^

Date: 2016-05-15 09:48 pm (UTC)
learashi: (Default)
From: [personal profile] learashi
It made me teary, and that is a good thing.
Thanks for sharing.

Date: 2016-05-16 04:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] riikushi.livejournal.com
gomen yama ga chotto ToT dekinai ne~

demo I'm come to say hi, lol

gomen really not important comment XD

Date: 2016-05-16 04:28 pm (UTC)
yukitsubute: (yama)
From: [personal profile] yukitsubute
That was really sad ;_;

Thanks for sharing

Date: 2016-05-18 08:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vsho.livejournal.com
Sad.. at the same time it's so nice..
It's Really touched me
Thanks for sharing

Date: 2016-12-03 07:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mars-anch.livejournal.com
it's so sad nee...


yumn_yumi: (Default)

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